Is the Matrix broken?

Strange times we’re living in. I never personally experienced the era I’m talking about – but it captivates me. The days of Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, Doris Day, Rock Hudson. A time when style, manners, and grace still mattered.

From Cary Grant to Ghosting – What Happened to Us?

So what happened?

A smile is now mistaken for flirting.

Holding the door for a woman gets you strange looks.

Every kind gesture is met with suspicion.

You almost fear walking the streets with a friendly face – afraid someone will throw you a “What do you want from me?” look.

Personal Anectode

Just last week, I had one of those moments that make you pause.

I was standing at a red light when a car pulled up beside me – two young women inside, laughing, clearly in a good mood. After about 30 seconds, one of them shouted across:

“Wanna grab a drink – the three of us?”

I have to admit – I ignored it.

Not because I’m uptight or can’t take a joke, but because that kind of behavior just isn’t my thing. It felt off.

Don’t get me wrong – I love that women today express what they want and go after what they prefer. That’s how it should be.

I’ve worked almost my entire life alongside women – and I’ve seen how much more they’ve had to prove compared to men.

Why that is? I could talk for hours about it – but let’s be honest, we all know the answer.

Still, there should be a line – even in progress.

If women now start behaving just as crude and tacky as men used to, then something has gone wrong.

That’s not empowerment – it’s imitation. And frankly, a failed one.

I always found that kind of direct, disrespectful behavior distasteful when it came from men. And coming from women, it doesn’t get better – it just feels forced, like something done just because it’s “allowed.”

For me personally: no thanks.

Style isn’t about gender – it’s about attitude. Today, we don’t get to know people – we research them.

One quick glance at someone’s social media, and we think we know who they are – even better than they know themselves.

Superficiality? Mastered.

What doesn’t fit gets swiped away like it never existed.

We live exactly how we use our phones:

Distracted. Impatient. With the attention span of a hibernating groundhog.

It’s not a beautiful time.

People walk around like post-apocalyptic zombies – heads down, eyes glued to screens.

On the train, on the street, in restaurants – even while sitting as a couple.

Everyone stares into their Matrix.

Are they all CEOs of multinational empires? Doubt it.

And yes – I include myself.

I catch myself staring blankly at my phone over complete nonsense.

And I often laugh at myself when I realize it.

But luckily:

The phone hasn’t stolen my sense of realness.

Luckily, I don’t see a smile as an invitation.

And luckily, I form my opinions through life – not likes.

Of course, every era has its pros and cons.

But what will people say about this one in 20 years?

I see no true plus. No real minus.

It feels like a vacuum.

What value does this era really offer?

Maybe that’s why gentlemen are slowly disappearing –

because more and more women are trying to become men instead.

Gentlemen seem to be disappearing – maybe because too many women are busy becoming men instead

In the end, everyone must decide for themselves.

But for me?

This just… isn’t it.

A time when elegance wasn´t rare - and being a gentleman was an art